Miranda's watchin you!

I am sad. I don't really have any reason- and it's not like being depressed...I'm just sad. I feel kind of like I've got no hope for anything good to happen in the future, even though I know it isn't true. I've already missed an assignment in Vijay's class, I'm not understanding a word that comes out of my math teacher's mouth (actually cried through the class because it made so little sense to me), and Hot Topic has yet to give me more than one day per week. I don't mean to be bleak but that's how I feel. Sorry about this guys.

Suzie, I hope you're feeling better, if you read this.

michael visited a shrine today.

because i said so.

so i'm quitting shogun because i want to dye my hair purple. and i've got too much on my plate life-wise. i will then have 1 job 1 school and 1 mom to take care of instead of the 2 jobs rediculous thing. i don't know what i was thinking. poo coffee *sip*

sleep is good. good nite. i don't know what quixotic means, but that's the mood i'm choosing.

I want so badly to have a reason to get all dolled up- apart from going to work at hot topic. That's an entirely different kind of dolled up. I want to go to homecoming again. Even better, the Opera. I would like to go to an opera or a ballet in a fancy dress (like the one below) and just feel beautiful. I've never been to the opera or the ballet and I think I would like to go. If there are any takers reading this journal please let me know.
Which BEAUTIFUL Prom dress is right for you? *with pics*
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everything About You Survey
Personal Information
First Name//: Miranda
Age//: 23
Gender//: female
Nickname(s)//: Mir
Hair Color//: strawberry blonde
Hair Style//: long with retro bangs
Eye Color//: hazel
What is your favorite
Color//: green
Game//: maplestory/ tetris
Song//: Blackbird by the Beatles
Music Video//: manamanah!
Animal//: fox
Sport//: fencing- other things that hurt like boxing and rugby
Country//: Ireland, USA
Movie//: Narnia
Food//: Sushi
Friends
Best//: several
Funniest//: noodles
Coolest//: Snow
Sweetest//: Red
Kindest//: Michael
Annoyingest//: is that a word? Drex i suppose..he talks alot
Dullest//: eric bork,well if you turn off the lights (agreed, red)
Stupidest//: Bailey (dog)
Most Intelligent//: John Hall
Athletic//: I have athletic friends?
Relationships
Boy(Girl)friend//: none
Are you in love right now//: nope
Do you have a crush//: over that
Do you have a stalker//: wait till school starts tuesday
Do you miss someone right now//: Sparky
What do you do
At school//: art
At home//: eat/art
Outside//: hike/drive
When you first wake up//: groan
what do you hate
Food//: tomatos, shrimp
Color//: i can't hate a color. I'm an artist
Hair color//: ??
Tv show//: Soap Operas
Clothing style//: collar poppers- unless they're rockabilly
Movie//: Sweet November- its too sad
Emotions Right Now
Are You Happy Right Now//: blank
Sad//: blank
Grumpy//: how can you be happy and anything else at the same time. the headding is emotions right now
Annoyed//:
Angry//:
Sick//:
Lonely//:
Bored//:
Have you ever
Made your own religion//: every day
Written backwards//: i have trouble with that
Written your own magazine//: online, for a week
Drawn art//: LOL... "drawn art"....ROFL
Got angry with a game//: yea that's why i play few.
Played Lacrosse//: yeah....sure
Broken a bone//: fingers and collarbone
Dyed your hair//: alot
Put in contacts for no reason//: do you really think i would stick my finger in my eye for no reason?
Swam alone//: yea
Things that come to mind when you read...
Intelligentence//: an intelligent person would have spelled intelligence correctly
Stupidity//: tall skinny redheaded boys who think they're punk
Depress//: tall skinny redheaded boys who think they're punk
Blood//: ack!
Blue//: suede shoes
Gray//: rain?
Sword//: play
Golf//: hole
Soccer//: ball
Yellow//: snow
Socks//: feet
Ribbon//: hehe corset
Random Questions
Play Sports, if so, what ones//: no
Have a lot of friends//: a few
Write good//: write well, dummy
Eat a lot//: since i quit smoking
Like the day Friday//: i like every day
Like the month December//: most of the time
Do you(or are you)
(DY)Give good advice//: try
(DY)Talk crap//: try not to
(DY)Play a lot of games//: D&D
(DY)Wear hats//: funny ones
(DY)Like to be outside//: always
(AY) Always mad//: no
(AY) Always happy//: more and more
(AY) A good friend//: i try, but its not always to my benefit
This or that (Last questions)
Night or day//: night
Snow or Rain//: rain
Stars or the Moon//: both
Ocean or Pool//: ocean
Boat or Plane//: boat
Books or Magazines//: books
Yu-Gi-Oh Cards or Pokemon Cards//: greeting?
Blonde or Black Hair//: blonde
Green or Blue Eyes//: green
Pants or Shorts//: pants
Pop or Rock//: rock
Punk or Emo//: punk....always. emo SUCKS!
Tatoos or Piercings//: tattoos
Necklace or Ring//: ring
Clouds or No Clouds//: clouds
Art or Literature//: art
Jeans or Baggy Pants//: jeans
Singing or Dancing//: both
March or May//: may
Halloween or Christmas//: halloween
Coke or Pepsi//: pepsi
Hug or Kiss//: *hug*

Take the quiz:
What Kind of Pirate are Ye? (*Pix*)

The Wench Aboard
Sex? Yes Please! You tend to stay locked up in your cabin awaiting your lover! You also forget your head in the clouds, of Romance Novels. You take what life has to offer and deal with it. Whether it involves being kidnapped by Pirates...or shoveling the water out of your room aboard the ship. You flirt with anything that moves and hate to be lonely. As long as you keep your wits about you, you actually can be quite charming.

Quizzes by myYearbook.com -- the World's Biggest Yearbook!

Mom did very well in her surgery- the nurse said that in the six years she'd been at that hospital mom's eye looked better than any other eye surgery she'd ever seen. You can't even tell she's had surgery- she just looks like she's lacking in sleep. And she says it feels itchy, but more than anything she's complaining that they cut off her eyelashes, lol. And people wonder where I get it from. I'll be spending the next few nights at home taking care of her, but if you have my number and want to call me, please do so.

I'm kinda depressed, and mom's having her surgery tomorrow. I feel like my best friend dumped me... oh wait he did. I just wish I had a shoulder to cry on, but the one I usually cry on is (in part) the reason I'm crying. I can't wait for school to start so i'm not thinking about all this so much. Mom acts nervous tonight- can't blame her. I would be acting nervous too. She and I fought most of the day over stupid stuff. I know she's missing steve too so I guess I can sympathize, but he's been gone 7 months. I hope I'm over the lack of redheaded irish bastard 7 months from today. I wish I was selfish enough to just get rid of my friends when I'm tired of them like a five year old with a McDonald's toy. rantrantrantrantrantrantrantrantrant stupid boy. rantrant. MIR! okay i feel a little better. I'm sleepy and I have to go to the DMV before we leave for charleston. So goodnight and I'll update here n about 3 days.

What is your sexual appeal?
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Finally confronted sparky about why he's not been around, and he says he's changing, he doesn't know what into, and he doesn't feel right hanging around eat n park. Oh and he's not sure how he feels. He didn't say about what. I told him i'd be here if he needs me and then I told him goodbye. It feels good in a way that I've talked to him, but it still didn't solve anything, and I really do love him and I miss my friend. I'm going to change aim names and I'll have a new LJ up soon- all of you who are on my friends list will have them. I've just accumulated too large a list of people i'd rather not have in my shit to keep these. Besides I really don't feel much like a sea turtle anymore. More of a fox or a hawk.
I hope he's happy with his new friends, because I don't think he's realizing that he's slowly burning bridges, particularly in MY neck of the woods. I'm more hurt than angry, and more sad than upset, but for now my pretty makeup is all down my cheeks and I feel like such shit. I've felt this way after talking to him every time for the past month. Maybe its best if he and I aren't friends. I can surround myself with much more supportive people than that. You guys are great, and you'll be hearing from me soon. Much Love to all of you.

more fun with my digital camera- ok then i'm on my way to work. Hot Topic today! whee! I think after work I shall see if my mommy wants to go out for dinner.

Left to Right:
Tater-bug, Bailey, and Tinky

We were talking about the space between us all
And the people who hide themselves behind a wall of illusion
Never glimpse the truth, then it's far too late, when they pass away
We were talking about the love we all could share
When we find it, to try our best to hold it there with our love
With our love, we could save the world, if they only knew

Try to realise it's all within yourself
No one else can make you change
And to see you're really only very small
And life flows on within you and without you

We were talking about the love that's gone so cold
And the people who gain the world and lose their soul
They don't know, they can't see, are you one of them?

When you've seen beyond yourself then you may find
Peace of mind is waiting there
And the time will come when you see we're all one
And life flows on within you and without you
~George Harrison

going to the Bean tonight- taking Anth with me- he's never been there before and I think everyshould experience it once. yes that's a typo, but i've decided its a new word. In my world.

I have to work ALL DAY today. 11-10. Gross. And I have to drive to Charleston tomorrow morning to take mom to the doctor. Therefore, there will be a distinct absence of me for the next couple days. Eww..11-10.

Oh child, things are gonna get easier....hopefully. I just want to get out of this funk that I'm in. Jason and I stood in the parking lot of Eat n Park for a couple hours last night talking- we laughed, we cried, it was very emotional, but I think we both got some much needed stuff out. I spoke with Sparky briefly today online. It was very forced and awkward, but he did IM me first, which is a step in the positive direction I guess.

8 days no cigarettes! woo hoo! I'll quit counting soon. I'm very proud of me.

Jessie and Kenny both left yesterday. I shall miss them, but I shall be busy until Kenny's return, and Jen is going to be around. Which makes me happy.

Today is my day off! Yay! Shogun likes to make me work alot, which I generally have no problem with, but I don't think I'm going to be able to stay on for one day a week at Hot Topic like I'd planned. Too much work makes me cranky and with mom's health the way it is, she needs me to be home helping her as much as possible. I'm really enjoying my day off today. Speaking of Hot Topic, I need to go there now and talk to Matt and see what he thinks about all this. I want to leave on the best terms possible, If I'm going to leave.